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Description:
PSAT 1.18 Writing Diagnostic. How would you change the underlined portion of the passage, if at all?
Transcript
- 00:00
Thank you We sneak And here's your shmoop usually brought
- 00:06
to you by trumping behavior which is typified by being
- 00:10
loud self absorbed and obnoxious Then again it just might
- 00:14
get you your own television show All right check out
- 00:17
the passage Rock art and vandalism Here we go man
Full Transcript
- 00:24
How many times we read this All right we're going
- 00:26
to skip skip skip rock water and here we go
- 00:31
How would you change The bolo underlined portion of the
- 00:34
passage If it all they're gone forever and they are
- 00:37
not making more And here the pencil answers You don't
- 00:44
scare us like that for a second we thought they
- 00:46
were talking about ben and jerry's Cookie core ice cream
- 00:49
They took that away from us We're not sure what
- 00:51
we do because usually when we're depressed we cookie core
- 00:54
ice cream It's like we have what is quite warm
- 00:57
All right so let's check out the passenger and see
- 00:58
what he's gone forever To some this may seem a
- 01:02
bit heavy handed but to those of us who watch
- 01:05
these priceless gems disappear from the landscape due to carelessness
- 01:08
it is deeply heartbreaking They are gone forever and they
- 01:11
are not making more Okay so we may need to
- 01:14
read a little bit of what precedes this sentence Figure
- 01:17
out exactly What's being reference frays priceless gems But since
- 01:23
we read this faster three times already fortunately we know
- 01:26
they're talking about panels of rock art This question once
- 01:30
anoke the phrasing used in the last part of the
- 01:32
senses could go Or if it means a complete makeover
- 01:35
Well the problem with the existing sentences that it has
- 01:38
a pronoun issue Check out the repeated use of the
- 01:41
word they the first time it's used it's referring to
- 01:45
the pieces of rock art themselves and the second time
- 01:48
it's referring to the original artist And yes switching that
- 01:51
mid sentence is a big no no can get very
- 01:54
confusing Well how do you like this sense They picked
- 01:57
up three gowns of milk at the store but they
- 01:59
were all in expired so they took them back But
- 02:02
they wouldn't refund their money which they still had in
- 02:05
the cash register But they were counterfeit anyway that we
- 02:09
rest our case is be a better option They are
- 02:12
gone forever They are not making more No changing the
- 02:16
punctuation doesn't resolve are they Problem So they can take
- 02:21
a hike We're gonna need to be How about you
- 02:23
Well they will never make more of them on ly
- 02:26
one they but now we're throwing them into the mix
- 02:30
Well this one is cleverly disguised as an improvement but
- 02:33
it's really no better The pronounced being used are still
- 02:36
vague While we might be able to guess what they
- 02:39
pronounce are referring to it isn't explicitly clear The web
- 02:44
sentences worded so sees out as well leaving people they
- 02:47
are gone forever and no more will be made the
- 02:50
first part of the sentence was referring to the rock
- 02:52
art and there's Nothing here that changes it up They
- 02:55
the panels of rock art are gone forever and no
- 02:58
more rock art will be made It's clear it's consistent
- 03:02
and in this case it will get us credit for
- 03:04
the correct answer So deity is in honor of prehistoric
- 03:07
man Ben and jerry have just announced their newest flavor 00:03:10.62 --> [endTime] rocky art road They can't all be winners
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