ShmoopTube

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Thank you We sneak in and here's your shmoop du

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jour brought to you by world war two proving just

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how bad a sequel Khun b Yeah i checked the

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following passage Walter james twenty on a b r tha

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family and yeah let's Move it on out Which of

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the following represents the best revision of sentence Six and

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hear the potential answer If the original sentence six definitely

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needs some help both read it He planned to go

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to college and because he was a great athlete he

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even had a baseball scholarship But when world war two

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broke out he signed up for the navy All right

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well this sentence has several important details about granddaddy walter

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and the trick is to get them to flow together

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in a way that makes sense A has all the

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details but we wouldn't say it makes all that much

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sense Besides the fact that it's a little too wordy

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it's also a run on sentence since there's no common

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before the conjunction But it's also incorrect because there's no

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comma after the introductory phrase since he was a great

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athlete Like you need to come right there all in

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all this sentences comma phobia turns it into a great

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big mush we hope it's seeing someone about these irrational

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grammatical fears It's okay well therapy wandered all right choice

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See is no good either for one it's missing a

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comma after the introductory phrase when world war two broke

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out also it's wordy and convoluted little two strikes and

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you're out choiceseat shmoop way Don't get three all right

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option d gives us another run on sentence Yeah just

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goes on like a there's no comma before the conjunction

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But on top of that it's just his word he

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is The rest of these answer choices have been well

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anybody ever get to the point around here including us

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Okay here we go Choice B This one is super

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concise includes all the details and has a comma in

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the right place so let's read it to celebrate He

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planned to attend college on a baseball scholarship comma but

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when world war two broke out he signed up for

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the navy Talk about an overachiever Careful be all those

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worthy answer choices seemed like the type to block boy

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