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CAHSEE Writing: Modifiers and Passive Voice Drill, Problem 5. Fix this sentence.
CAHSEE ELA Writing: Modifiers and Passive Voice, Problem 2. How should this sentence be changed, if at all?
CAHSEE ELA: Modifiers and Passive Voice, Problem 1. How should this sentence be changed, if at all?
CAHSEE ELA 1.5 Writing Strategies 190 Views
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Description:
In this CAHSEE test question, figure out how to correct a section of the passage if any corrections are needed. CAHSEE ELA; Writing Strategies Drill 1, Problem 5
Transcript
- 00:00
Sorry And here's your shmoop du jour brought to you
- 00:05
by santa claus Does that mean you're naughty or nice
- 00:10
checking appalling past And so grandma get Remember hearing one
- 00:19
fairy tales Thank you All right Which is the best
- 00:26
way to revise sentence seven This one right here and
Full Transcript
- 00:31
here the potential answers clearly written Wears alright done Reading
- 00:39
let's Go All right Good editing isn't just about fixing
- 00:42
punctuation it's also about cutting out the unnecessary parts You
- 00:46
know like that Like an infected appendix Some sentences have
- 00:49
to go no matter how attached to them We are
- 00:52
sorry all right Choice and see both make a noble
- 00:55
effort to fix the awkwardness here but playing around with
- 00:58
punctuation ain't going to do the trick We can sprinkle
- 01:01
in semi colons commas or periods but at the end
- 01:03
of the day we're still left with an awkward sentence
- 01:05
that sounds too slangy for an essay And then we
- 01:09
have choice be well there's Nothing technically wrong here no
- 01:12
grammatical errors or anything like that Also by cutting out
- 01:16
the word like and separating the sentence with a period
- 01:19
this answer does make whole thing a little less awkward
- 01:22
Even though option b gets a lot of points in
- 01:24
our book it ultimately fails by committing the cardinal sin
- 01:27
of redundancy repeating itself saying the same thing over and
- 01:30
over and over and over again we never want our
- 01:32
essays to repeat the same information as soon as readers
- 01:35
get a whiff of redundancy Well that's when they stop
- 01:37
reading and start messaging around on their smartphones and check
- 01:41
out the new farmville three the revenge Both people play
- 01:44
it Lovett choice d wins the day by being the
- 01:47
only answer Brave enough to cut the second part of
- 01:49
the sentence altogether There are no grammatical mistakes here and
- 01:53
no redundancy Yes they still make sense and all is
- 01:56
well looks like we've got ourselves a fairy tale ending
- 02:00
the disney kind not the type where the kids were
- 02:02
chopped up and put in a pie like a soylent
- 02:04
green gray bold movie Ask your pain High card people
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