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Adventures of Huckleberry Finn Full Text: Chapter 14

Adventures of Huckleberry Finn Full Text: Chapter 14 : Page 2

"The place where he keeps his wives.  Don't you know about the harem? Solomon had one; he had about a million wives."

"Why, yes, dat's so; I—I'd done forgot it.  A harem's a bo'd'n-house, I reck'n.  Mos' likely dey has rackety times in de nussery.  En I reck'n de wives quarrels considable; en dat 'crease de racket.  Yit dey say Sollermun de wises' man dat ever live'.  I doan' take no stock in dat. Bekase why: would a wise man want to live in de mids' er sich a blim-blammin' all de time?  No—'deed he wouldn't.  A wise man 'ud take en buil' a biler-factry; en den he could shet _down_ de biler-factry when he want to res'."

"Well, but he _was_ the wisest man, anyway; because the widow she told me so, her own self."

"I doan k'yer what de widder say, he _warn't_ no wise man nuther.  He had some er de dad-fetchedes' ways I ever see.  Does you know 'bout dat chile dat he 'uz gwyne to chop in two?"

"Yes, the widow told me all about it."

"_Well_, den!  Warn' dat de beatenes' notion in de worl'?  You jes' take en look at it a minute.  Dah's de stump, dah—dat's one er de women; heah's you—dat's de yuther one; I's Sollermun; en dish yer dollar bill's de chile.  Bofe un you claims it.  What does I do?  Does I shin aroun' mongs' de neighbors en fine out which un you de bill _do_ b'long to, en han' it over to de right one, all safe en soun', de way dat anybody dat had any gumption would?  No; I take en whack de bill in _two_, en give half un it to you, en de yuther half to de yuther woman.  Dat's de way Sollermun was gwyne to do wid de chile.  Now I want to ast you:  what's de use er dat half a bill?—can't buy noth'n wid it.  En what use is a half a chile?  I wouldn' give a dern for a million un um."

"But hang it, Jim, you've clean missed the point—blame it, you've missed it a thousand mile."

"Who?  Me?  Go 'long.  Doan' talk to me 'bout yo' pints.  I reck'n I knows sense when I sees it; en dey ain' no sense in sich doin's as dat. De 'spute warn't 'bout a half a chile, de 'spute was 'bout a whole chile; en de man dat think he kin settle a 'spute 'bout a whole chile wid a half a chile doan' know enough to come in out'n de rain.  Doan' talk to me 'bout Sollermun, Huck, I knows him by de back."

"But I tell you you don't get the point."

Read Shmoop's Analysis of Chapter 14