Enter Lord Chamberlain and Lord Sands. CHAMBERLAIN Is ’t possible the spells of France should juggle Men into such strange mysteries? SANDS New customs, Though they be never so ridiculous— Nay, let ’em be unmanly—yet are followed. 5 CHAMBERLAIN As far as I see, all the good our English Have got by the late voyage is but merely A fit or two o’ th’ face; but they are shrewd ones, For when they hold ’em, you would swear directly Their very noses had been counselors 10 To Pepin or Clotharius, they keep state so. SANDS They have all new legs and lame ones; one would take it, That never see ’em pace before, the spavin Or springhalt reigned among ’em. 15 CHAMBERLAIN Death! My lord, Their clothes are after such a pagan cut to ’t, That, sure, they’ve worn out Christendom. | Lord Chamberlain and Lord Sands talk about—what else?—what happened on the nobles' trip to France, and about what's taken place since. Chamberlain thinks it's ridiculous how men are suddenly wearing French clothes and practicing French customs, now that they've seen how the French do things. |
Enter Sir Thomas Lovell. How now? What news, Sir Thomas Lovell? 20 LOVELL Faith, my lord, I hear of none but the new proclamation That’s clapped upon the court gate. CHAMBERLAIN What is ’t for? LOVELL The reformation of our traveled gallants 25 That fill the court with quarrels, talk, and tailors. CHAMBERLAIN I’m glad ’tis there; now I would pray our monsieurs To think an English courtier may be wise And never see the Louvre. LOVELL They must either— 30 For so run the conditions—leave those remnants Of fool and feather that they got in France, With all their honorable points of ignorance Pertaining thereunto, as fights and fireworks, Abusing better men than they can be 35 Out of a foreign wisdom, renouncing clean The faith they have in tennis and tall stockings, Short blistered breeches, and those types of travel, And understand again like honest men, Or pack to their old playfellows. There, I take it, 40 They may cum privilegio “oui” away The lag end of their lewdness and be laughed at. | Then Lovell comes over to say that the nobles are supposed to give these French things up. Everyone agrees that this is best. |
SANDS ’Tis time to give ’em physic, their diseases Are grown so catching. CHAMBERLAIN What a loss our ladies 45 Will have of these trim vanities! LOVELL Ay, marry, There will be woe indeed, lords. The sly whoresons Have got a speeding trick to lay down ladies. A French song and a fiddle has no fellow. 50 SANDS The devil fiddle ’em! I am glad they are going, For sure there’s no converting of ’em. Now An honest country lord, as I am, beaten A long time out of play, may bring his plainsong, And have an hour of hearing, and, by ’r Lady, 55 Held current music too. CHAMBERLAIN Well said, Lord Sands. Your colt’s tooth is not cast yet? SANDS No, my lord, Nor shall not while I have a stump. 60 CHAMBERLAIN Sir Thomas, Whither were you a-going? | After a few more jabs at the French, Chamberlain asks Lovell where he's off to. |
LOVELL To the Cardinal’s. Your Lordship is a guest too. CHAMBERLAIN O, ’tis true. 65 This night he makes a supper, and a great one, To many lords and ladies. There will be The beauty of this kingdom, I’ll assure you. LOVELL That churchman bears a bounteous mind indeed, A hand as fruitful as the land that feeds us. 70 His dews fall everywhere. CHAMBERLAIN No doubt he’s noble; He had a black mouth that said other of him. SANDS He may, my lord. ’Has wherewithal. In him, Sparing would show a worse sin than ill doctrine. 75 Men of his way should be most liberal; They are set here for examples. CHAMBERLAIN True, they are so, But few now give so great ones. My barge stays. Your Lordship shall along.—Come, good Sir Thomas, 80 We shall be late else, which I would not be, For I was spoke to, with Sir Henry Guilford This night to be comptrollers. SANDS I am your Lordship’s. They exit. | Lovell's off to Wolsey's house, of course, and Chamberlain and Lovell are invited, too. Lovell says Wolsey is "bounteous," and Chamberlain follows that up by saying that he's "noble," too. Sands couldn't agree more. Wolsey is such a great "example" to all of them. The men sing Wolsey's praises as they run off to his house for dinner. |