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Henry VIII Steaminess Rating

Exactly how steamy is this story?

PG-13

If the Old Lady were in charge of this play's steaminess rating, she'd probably give it an "R" because she loves making dirty jokes about oral sex and fornication (sex before marriage). We, on the other hand, are giving Henry VIII a PG-13 because, despite all the talk about fornicating, we don't actually see any of it on stage. In other words, sensitive audiences may want to cover their ears, but your mother will never tell you to cover your eyes during this play.