ShmoopTube

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We know you're eager to get out there and start conquering the world with your...

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your chemistry, but until you've learned a few basic safety precautions, you'll have to...

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just keep your mitts off our beakers, so to speak. Having to learn about...

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and avoid potentially lethal situations can be a real drag. But...

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you may actually thank us once you've made it to the ripe old age of 22...

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with all your limbs and eyeballs still intact. All right, so here's your safety...

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checklist coming at ya. Number one: read and follow directions.

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Directions aren't just there to look pretty. They can alert you to the possible...

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safety hazards, and advise you how to properly handle dangerous...

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chemicals. Here's Stan not reading the directions. Here's Stan...

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combining nitric acid and hydrozine. And here's where Stan's...

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hair used to be. Yeah, let's not be like Stan. Safety item...

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numero dos. Protect those eyeballs. Unless you're a cyborg...

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who can just go into mission headquarters to be fitted for a new pair of peepers,

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those eyes of yours are the only ones you're ever gonna have. There are all...

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kinds of noxious fumes and gases inside a chemistry lab, and if they find...

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their way into your eyeholes, they're gonna cause permanent damage.

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Any time you're working with materials you wouldn't want to go pouring...

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all over your face, strap on a pair of lab goggles. This is Stan not wearing...

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goggles. This is Stan getting a little too close to an alkaline...

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chemical reaction, and this is Stan putting in his contacts.

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Moving on: number three. Don't let your piggies out of their sty.

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These shoes are awesome. For the beach. In a...

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lab full of breakable glass, not so much. Guess who...

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likes to wear flip-flops to chemistry class? Oh yeah, Stan. Good call.

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Here's Stan dropping a flask. Here's Stan's piggy toes being cut...

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into pork sausages. Stan's totally gonna wear sneakers next time...

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if there is a next time. Safety rule number four: this is not...

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time to let your hair done. Save it for your modeling shoot or...

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something. In a chemistry lab, the idea is not to dangle flammable materials...

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over open flames. If you do, then, like Stan, you might lose...

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what's left of your hair. Poor Stan. Class pictures are tomorrow, too.

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Number five: make sure the equipment you're using is in tip-top shape.

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If your Bunsen Burner is out of whack, or your eye-dropper has more...

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holes in it than a slice of swiss cheese, you may want to let your teacher know...

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so you can get some replacement equipment that won't kill you.

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If you notice that something is funky, but forge ahead anyway, well bad...

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things are bound to happen. Just ask Stan. Not that he can really hear you...

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right now. You might want to ask him in writing. Finally, number six: when in the..

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lab, don't put anything in your mouth, ever. We can't stress this...

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enough. We don't care how long it is until lunch, or how delicious you think...

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that blob of melted lithium looks. Wait it out. You're wearing goggles...

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for a reason. This stuff, and your body, do not mix.

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Leave your leftovers for Stan. He'll finish them up for ya. Happy

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picture day there, Stan.

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