A side-by-side translation of Act 2, Scene 4 of Romeo and Juliet from the original Shakespeare into modern English.
Original Text |
Translated Text |
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Source: Folger Shakespeare Library | |
Enter Benvolio and Mercutio. MERCUTIO BENVOLIO MERCUTIO | Mercutio and Benvolio still haven't figured out where Romeo went after the party. They think he's going crazy somewhere thinking about Rosaline. |
BENVOLIO MERCUTIO A challenge, on my life. BENVOLIO Romeo will answer it. 10 MERCUTIO Any man that can write may answer a letter. BENVOLIO Nay, he will answer the letter’s master, how | It turns out that Tybalt has sent Romeo a message that goes something like this: "I'm going to beat you up with my sword." Benvolio is sure Romeo will write back to let Tybalt know if he's ready to rumble. |
MERCUTIO Alas, poor Romeo, he is already dead, | Mercutio isn't so sure Romeo's up for a fight. He's already been slain, after all...by love. (Of course, Mercutio thinks it's love for Rosaline that's slowing Romeo down, but he's not exactly wrong here.) Plus, Mercutio adds, can Romeo really take on Tybalt? |
BENVOLIO Why, what is Tybalt? MERCUTIO More than prince of cats. O, he’s the courageous 20 BENVOLIO The what? MERCUTIO The pox of such antic, lisping, affecting | When Benvolio asks what the big deal is about Tybalt, it becomes clear that Mercutio was just setting himself up for a series of jabs at Tybalt. First, he calls Tybalt the Prince of Cats, which is a reference to a character from a medieval fairy tale. Mercutio also says that Tybalt takes himself and his sword fighting skills way too seriously and that he's super uptight. |
Enter Romeo. BENVOLIO Here comes Romeo, here comes Romeo. MERCUTIO Without his roe, like a dried herring. O | When Romeo finally shows up, Mercutio expects him to start whining about Rosaline and saying how she makes famous beauties like Dido, Cleopatra, and Helen look like shmucks. |
ROMEO Good morrow to you both. What counterfeit MERCUTIO The slip, sir, the slip. Can you not conceive? 50 ROMEO Pardon, good Mercutio, my business was | When asked where he disappeared to last night, Romeo says he had serious business to take care of. |
MERCUTIO That’s as much as to say such a case as ROMEO Meaning, to curtsy. | Mercutio suggests (of course) that this "business" was of a sexual nature. |
MERCUTIO Thou hast most kindly hit it. ROMEO A most courteous exposition. | And yes, when he says "hit it," Mercutio is making another reference to sex. As per usual, this is just the beginning of the banter between the boys of Verona. |
MERCUTIO Nay, I am the very pink of courtesy. ROMEO “Pink” for flower. 60 MERCUTIO Right. ROMEO Why, then is my pump well flowered. MERCUTIO Sure wit, follow me this jest now till thou ROMEO O single-soled jest, solely singular for the | The fellas keep the trash talk going with puns on "pink flower" (a.k.a., female genitalia) and "pump" (a.k.a., shoe or penis). |
MERCUTIO Come between us, good Benvolio. My wits ROMEO Switch and spurs, switch and spurs, or I’ll cry MERCUTIO Nay, if our wits run the wild-goose chase, I ROMEO Thou wast never with me for anything when MERCUTIO I will bite thee by the ear for that jest. ROMEO Nay, good goose, bite not. 80 MERCUTIO Thy wit is a very bitter sweeting; it is a most ROMEO And is it not, then, well served into a sweet MERCUTIO O, here’s a wit of cheveril that stretches 85 ROMEO I stretch it out for that word “broad,” which | Mercutio, who feels like he's losing the battle of wits with Romeo, calls for Benvolio to break it up, but Romeo wants to keep going. He says if Mercutio quits now, he (Romeo) will declare himself the winner. Mercutio can't have that, so they keep the verbal throwdown going. |
MERCUTIO Why, is not this better now than groaning 90 BENVOLIO Stop there, stop there. MERCUTIO Thou desirest me to stop in my tale against BENVOLIO Thou wouldst else have made thy tale large. MERCUTIO O, thou art deceived. I would have made it 100 | Mercutio brings the talk back to sex when he says it's nice to see Romeo so playful again—not like before when he was so preoccupied with...there's no delicate way to say this...finding a place to "sheathe his sword," if you know what we mean. Benvolio tries to stop him there, but Mercutio gets in a few more erection jokes (with Benvolio's help). |
Enter Nurse and her man Peter. ROMEO Here’s goodly gear. A sail, a sail! MERCUTIO Two, two—a shirt and a smock. 105 NURSE Peter. PETER Anon. NURSE My fan, Peter. MERCUTIO Good Peter, to hide her face, for her fan’s NURSE God you good morrow, gentlemen. MERCUTIO God you good e’en, fair gentlewoman. NURSE Is it good e’en? MERCUTIO ’Tis no less, I tell you, for the bawdy hand of | As planned, the Nurse shows up to meet with Romeo. She looks ridiculous, apparently, and Mercutio can't resist flirting with her, mocking her, and talking dirty to her. He first says that the fan she's using should be used to cover her face since it's more attractive than she is. Then, when the Nurse questions him about the time of day, he manages to turn a description of a clock into a graphic portrayal of masturbation. |
NURSE Out upon you! What a man are you? ROMEO One, gentlewoman, that God hath made, himself NURSE By my troth, it is well said: “for himself to ROMEO I can tell you, but young Romeo will be older NURSE You say well. | The Nurse is a bit taken aback, but lets them know she's looking for Romeo. Romeo identifies himself with a bit of wordplay that impresses the Nurse. |
MERCUTIO Yea, is the worst well? Very well took, i’ NURSE If you be he, sir, I desire some confidence with BENVOLIO She will indite him to some supper. MERCUTIO A bawd, a bawd, a bawd. So ho! ROMEO What hast thou found? MERCUTIO No hare, sir, unless a hare, sir, in a Lenten Singing. An old hare hoar, Romeo, will you come to your father’s? We’ll to ROMEO I will follow you. MERCUTIO Farewell, ancient lady. Farewell, lady, lady, 145 Mercutio and Benvolio exit. | The Nurse tells Romeo she wants to chat with him in private, and Benvolio and Mercutio continue to make fun of her. Mercutio even goes so far as to call her an old, ugly prostitute by comparing her to stale rabbit meat, which is okay to eat if you can't find anything fresher. Then he casually says that he and Benvolio are headed over to Romeo's house for lunch. Romeo says he'll meet them there later. |
NURSE I pray you, sir, what saucy merchant was this ROMEO A gentleman, nurse, that loves to hear himself NURSE An he speak anything against me, I’ll take him PETER I saw no man use you at his pleasure. If I had, | The Nurse is understandably upset over this treatment. She thinks Peter (the servant) should have defended her, but he says he didn't see any real harm coming to her. If he had, he would have drawn his sword and the law would have been on his side. (Remember, no one wants to get caught fighting without good cause seeing as how the punishment is death.) |
NURSE Now, afore God, I am so vexed that every part ROMEO Nurse, commend me to thy lady and mistress. 175 NURSE Good heart, and i’ faith I will tell her as much. ROMEO What wilt thou tell her, nurse? Thou dost not NURSE I will tell her, sir, that you do protest, which, as ROMEO Bid her devise NURSE No, truly, sir, not a penny. ROMEO Go to, I say you shall. NURSE | Finally, the Nurse and Romeo get down to business. Romeo tell the Nurse that Juliet should find an excuse to come to Friar Lawrence's church that afternoon—where she will be married. He offers the Nurse some money for her trouble, but she declines it. |
ROMEO NURSE ROMEO What sayst thou, my dear nurse? NURSE ROMEO NURSE Well, sir, my mistress is the sweetest lady. Lord, ROMEO Ay, nurse, what of that? Both with an R. NURSE Ah, mocker, that’s the dog’s name. R is for ROMEO Commend me to thy lady. NURSE Ay, a thousand times.—Peter. PETER Anon. NURSE Before and apace. They exit. | Romeo tells the Nurse he'll have someone meet her behind the abbey in an hour and give her a rope ladder that he can use to climb over the orchard wall to visit Juliet in secret. When the Nurse questions the wisdom of bringing another person into this plot (the guy delivering the ladder), Romeo assures her that the guy is trustworthy and he'll keep things quiet. Then the Nurse, babbling about how sweetly Juliet talks of Romeo, reveals her illiteracy. She asks what letter Romeo and rosemary starts with. When he tells her "R," she says that can't be it because that's the noise a dog makes. |