Shark Watcher
Categories: Board of Directors
Is Carl Icahn swimming around here anywhere? How about one of those angry private equity firms just waiting to go hostile on our little company and take it over? That's what a shark watcher firm does. They swim around, looking for share accumulation action wherein a given corporate raider begins to quickly accumulate stock with the intent of going hostile and taking over a target company against its will.
Early detection helps. If a company learns there's someone out there they should fear, they can adopt various board resolutions to stave off takeovers: PacMan Defense and Poison Pills and Suicide Pills, among others.
You may need a bigger boat.
Related or Semi-related Video
Finance: What is shark repellent?5 Views
what is shark repellant? So yeah for sharknado 11 the [empty movie theatre showing Sharknado]
schmoopy we just gave away the penultimate scene yeah sorry about that [shark getting sprayed with shark repellent]
well in the financial world however shark repellent is a fancy $5 word for
companies trying to fend off corporate raiding sharks like this guy trying to
take them over well companies deploy all kinds of tricks to dilute their shares [businessman attacked by sharks]
change their business dynamics create friction at the board level and
generally make themselves unappetizing to the Sharks hoping to eat them 4x and [businessman spraying shark repellent over their suit]
sell them for 2x4 years later well you'll hear of specific shark repellents [shareholder rights plan]
like poison pills and partner killer bees ie law firms that specialize in
hostile takeover defenses notion of a company currently trading at 40 bucks
getting a hostile takeover bid for $52 a share and somehow that being perceived
as just awful and terrible and bad is strange to many in the Wall Street [office workers complaining]
investing public if someone is really willing and able to pay a big premium to
buy a given company then why shouldn't it be sold to that new owner well in a
lot of cases the new owner will replace a whole lot of laborers with robots save [McDonald's drive-thru worker replaced with a robot]
a whole lot of money for shareholders and make the company more valuable to
shareholders so that's good for shareholders but not good for the slew
of laborers who are all now out of work and what do they do well the country's [ex-McDoland's worker crying]
taxpayers and typically pay for them in unemployment forms one way or another so [money going towards food stamps, unemployment checks and heathcare]
it's all an ugly political mess but the bottom line companies generally exist
for the financial benefit of the people who own them ie their shareholders and
if the stock market isn't giving the company a reflectively high value then
why shouldn't the company sell to someone who will and why is it the
company's owners job to employ laborers who could be replaced by robots cheaper [robot serving McDonald's drive-thru]
better faster hmm the point is that being that sharks well they aren't
always evil [shark boops guy off screen]